The pace of daily living can get hectic. When certain personalities meet, it is not uncommon for people to disagree.

Do you sound familiar? It is impossible to travel the world and not come across another person. However, grudges can cause damage to your physical and emotional well-being. A 2009 survey by the Department of Psychology at Medical College of Georgia revealed that people who aren’t forgiving can suffer more from heart disease, pain disorders, and stomach ulcers.

“Holding onto negativity causes harm to the one who won’t forgive,”Dr. Matthew B. James is president of The Empowerment Partnership and a teacher in an ancient Hawaiian spiritual science called huna.

Refusing forgiveness can have a wide-ranging effect, and it can lead to resentment in entire communities. “When you point a finger at someone to blame them, there are always three fingers pointing back at you,”Dr. James.

However, it is not easy for grudge-bearers to let go old hurts. Dr. James suggests that grudge bearers take these steps to seek forgiveness.

* Tell the other person that you forgive them. Do not say you will “forgive, but not forget”The goal is to let go of negative emotions.

* Ask the other person to forgive you. Even if it seems that you have done nothing wrong, you can ask for forgiveness. “Saying, ‘I forgive you; please forgive me, too’ brings the other person into the picture and gets them actively involved,”Dr. James.

* Have a conversation. Give yourself and the other person enough room to express your thoughts. Keep calm and use normal tones even if your opinions differ from what is being said. You should feel relieved that you have shared your thoughts and feelings at the end of your talk. Ask for forgiveness and give again.

* Move on. Take what you’ve learned from this situation and apply it to your future decisions.

“To forgive and to never forget is to never forgive in the first place,”Dr. James. “We owe it to ourselves to experience true forgiveness.”

For more information or to learn more about Dr. James’ teachings of huna/empowerment, visit www.huna.comOder www.DrMatt.com.