Pop culture says that teenagers will become secretive, hungry, rebellious and secretive monsters. Although teenagers are capable of achieving autonomy, parents must maintain communication with their children.

Your teenager and you might appear to have little in common. You may cringe at their music or be horrified at their choice for clothes. You can bond with your teenager if you put in the effort. First, accept that your teen doesn’t want to listen to classical music or play in the garden. Accepting that your teen doesn’t want classical music or to play in the garden is the first step.

“Find out what they want to do,”Karen Deerwester, author of “The Entitlement-Free Child,”Interview with SUCCESS Magazine “It’s not about what you want to do. With teenagers, it’s about getting into their world.”

Find out what interests your teenager and suggest activities that revolve around it. An actor might be interested in seeing a play while a sports fan would prefer tickets to a match. If your teen is open to your idea let him or her decide the details like which play you will see. Teens must feel they can plan activities.

This activity can be more difficult than bonding, though. You don’t have to listen to their parenting voices, but you shouldn’t be too pushy to be their friend. Teens want to bond with each other. “hang”They should be with their peers and not mom or dad. It might even be a good idea for them to bring a friend. This allows teenagers to enjoy each other’s company and still spend time with their parents.

Talk to your teenager first if activities stimulate discussion. Listen to what your teen has to say, before you reply. Don’t try to solve their problems for them. Teenagers should explore their interests and confront the consequences of any decisions they make, good or not. Teenagers who believe they cannot talk to their parents will manipulate or lie to get what they want.

Accept that teens will require time from you. “We want to spend more time with them than they do with us, and we have to be respectful of that.”Ann Corwin is a parenting consultant and child-development educator. She also created the website. “The Child Connection”DVD. “Try not to take it personally.”

Visit this site to hear from more experts, and get ideas for bonding activities between parents and teenagers. www.SUCCESS.com.